In this second episode, Alina Curtin and Elicia De Leon interview Laelani Croan, a Sophomore at McCallum and survivor of gun violence.

Transcript

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;25;29

Elicia De Leon

Some viewers may find elements of this episode to be upsetting. Viewer discretion is advised. 

Alina Curtin

This is our right to bear. I’m Alina Curtin 

Elcia De Leon

and I’m Elcia de Leon. 

Alina Curtin

Today we are talking with a student of McCallum High School, whose first hand experience on the effect of gun violence towards youth. Laelani Croan is a sophomore at McCallum, and she’s here today with us. Hi

00;00;26;00 – 00;00;47;01

Laelani Croan

Hi. 

Elicia De Leon

Can you introduce yourself and give a little background information? Stuff you do in school, outside of school and all that? 

Laelani Croan

I’m Laelani. I’m a sophomore. I am a theater major at McCallum. I am a world schools debater. And I’m social media head and executive committee for our Students of Color Alliance. 

Alina Curtin

What has your time at McCallum been like as a disabled student?

00;00;47;04 – 00;01;05;24

Laelani Croan

McCallum is pretty welcoming towards students with disabilities. I haven’t had any real big issues with McCallum. My only issue is that sometimes it can be hard to find, like an accessible restroom stall, but other than that, it’s been very welcoming. The school is very accessible. All of the ramp entrances are the main entrances, which is nice. Instead of me having to take a separate entrance.

00;01;05;24 – 00;01;21;11

So overall, my experience of McCallum has been great. 

Alina Curtin

And how has being in a wheelchair impacted how you’re treated by your peers? 

Lealani Croan

Being in a wheelchair has definitely impacted how I’m treated by my peers. I’ve thought a lot about if my life would be the same if I wasn’t in a wheelchair, and it definitely would not be the same.

00;01;21;13 – 00;01;36;07

In seventh grade, I was like, very badly bullied for being in a chair. I would get called, like, names in the hallways, and it was really depressing and took like a lot a deep hit to like, my self-esteem. And I’m getting over that a lot, but it’s definitely been a lot. It can be good in some ways and bad in others.

00;01;36;10 – 00;01;57;02

Elicia De Leon

Have you had any personal experiences with gun violence? 

Laelani Croan

Yes. So the reason why I’m in a wheelchair is because when I was six years old, I was shot by a man that I’ve never met and have never met. That was on December 28th, 2015. My ten year anniversary was this past December. I am a complete T5 paraplegic, which means I don’t have any sensation below

00;01;57;04 – 00;02;22;05

T5 part of my spinal cord, which is about chest level. 

Alina Curtin

Have those experiences shaped how you view gun laws, or lack thereof, in Texas and the US as a whole? 

Laelani Croan

It definitely has. And I think that even if I hadn’t been shot, I would still be a strong advocate for gun safety laws because of the fact that I’m still a student at a public school in the United States of America, where the likelihood of your school being shot isn’t an if it’s a win.

00;02;22;07 – 00;02;36;25

And so I would still be a strong advocate for gun laws. However, it does help to have a personal experience and like an idea, it definitely makes me have a lot more empathy for students who have to go through what I’ve had to go through and, give me a like, make my voice a lot stronger and a lot louder.

00;02;36;26 – 00;02;58;00

Elicia De leon

Are you affected mentally due to these experiences? And could you talk about, to the extent that you are comfortable with specific examples of when mental health and gun violence coincided in your life? 

Laelani Croan

Yes. So I’m diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder, which means that I had a traumatic event in my life and still have mental effects due to that.

00;02;58;00 – 00;03;17;04

So I don’t like loud noises like fireworks. I’ve analyzed situations around me. So like at school, like, I know, like all of my exits and stuff like that. And I’m constantly on edge and I’ve always struggled with my, like, process, being able to process my emotions. So like sadness and anger kind of come out of me differently than another person.

00;03;17;04 – 00;03;34;00

Like I react a lot strongly to things, and I don’t think about my emotions as much as other people do, and I don’t think as much before I speak. And so I’ve struggled a lot with like depression, suicidal ideation, just anxiety from having to like go to a school in America where I know that I’m not safe every day, and having to deal with that every day.

00;03;34;00 – 00;03;53;01

And like having to do lock down drills that trigger my PTSD and remind me about what I had to go through. And like even at McCallum, where last year we had a lockdown due to, like, a gun, McDonald’s near our school that, that didn’t, didn’t seem to affect as many other students, me as me. And I couldn’t understand why other students weren’t as affected by that lockdown.

00;03;53;01 – 00;04;08;28

But it definitely put me on edge for the rest of the day. 

Alina Curtin

Do you know what happened to the man who shot you? 

Laelani Croan

No, he was never caught. The gun was never found. And even though there were multiple shots, no bullets were found at the scene. So the only bullet and the only evidence of what happened is in my spine.

00;04;08;29 – 00;04;27;18

Alina Curtin

Do you have any experiences like personally advocating for stronger gun laws? 

Laelani Croan

Yes. So I in my family are both like strong advocates. We protest a lot for stronger gun laws and just all kinds of other issues that we have here in Texas. A student at our school created a group outside of school called like Austin Youth Activists.

00;04;27;18 – 00;04;49;05

And we had a protest, here at school, earlier this year that I was a part of. Yeah, I organized protests at my middle school, and I’ve just organized a lot of protests due to gun violence. I’m a member of Students Demand Action, March for Our Lives, Everytown for Gun Safety. I’m part of like a gun violence victims advocacy group as well.

00;04;49;05 – 00;05;14;02

Elicia De Leon

If you could say something to the lawmakers in charge of these policies, what would that be? 

Laelani Croan

I think that if you’re a lawmaker in the United States at all, but also in Texas, just being able to hear these stories over and over again, hear my story, hear other students and student stories, and not be compelled to do anything is cruel and shows that you have a lack of empathy, that we’re becoming so desensitized in the United States to gun violence that every day we hear other school shooting.

00;05;14;09 – 00;05;33;18

Oh, but only five people died. Like that is just such, such an awful thing that we have to deal with every single day just to hear that more people were shot and not to have an urge to act. 

Alina Curtin

Laelani, I would just like to say thank you so much for coming and talking with us today. Your story is very moving, and it’s the exact thing that our right to bear is trying to draw more attention to.

00;05;33;26 – 00;05;53;23

Laelani Croan

Thank you for having me. 

Elicia De Leon

School shootings are not the only way that youth is affected by gun violence, and it is important to acknowledge that when discussing gun control laws in relation to the younger generations, these experiences, unfortunately, are not an isolated incident. 

Alina Curtin

So what are some other times that the youth was affected by guns outside of school?

00;05;53;24 – 00;06;13;29

Elicia De Leon

That and more next time for McCallum journalism. I’m Elicia De Leon 

Alina Curtin

and I’m Alina Curtin.