My dad pretty much refuses to enter the 20th century. He won’t buy a microwave because he says that they stir up the molecules, somehow making the food inedible. He bought a dishwasher, but he won’t use it for some unknown reason. I guess he likes the feel of warm water and dishwashing soap. He did, however, finally decide to update our computer to include a CD-ROM. This was a nice surprise, but I couldn’t enjoy it because he bought the most boring CD imaginable, Dr. Barnes: A Passion For Art.

Here I was, wanting so bad to enjoy the amazing technological capabilities of a CD-ROM, but I could do was look at paintings. The CD starts outside the house of a famous art collector, Dr. Barnes, and eventually takes you on a tour through his house, which is comparable to any of the great art museums. The tour is guided by an old British man with a nasal voice.

After about five minutes I was yelling “shut up” to a computer screen.

The only cool part of the tour is when you get to look  through his private possessions. If you haven’t caught on yet, I don’t recommend this CD. I must add that I don’t have much of an appreciation for impressionistic art, but those who do will probably find this CD quite informative and entertaining.

This story was originally published in The Shield on Feb. 9, 1996.